


What's in the basket?

by orphan_account



Series: Them domestic life celestials [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot, Snakes, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), they have pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 11:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20007349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A picnic basket appears on their doorstep and Crowley thinks what it's going to contain is obvious.





	What's in the basket?

**Author's Note:**

> All of these are going to be short and i'm sorry.

"Uhh...Crowley, dear, come here a second?" Aziraphale called from the front door. He sounded very confused. A minute ago the doorbell had rung but on the porch there was no one but something.

Footsteps, a bang, a thump and several curses later the demon appeared at Aziraphale's side. "what's up, angel?" Aziraphale ignored the obvious ironic question and pointed downwards. Crowley followed the line with his eyes and nearly shat out both his heart and liver. 

It's a basket. Like a picnic basket. Which Crowley knows all to well what it means. Who brought it, why, they should just leave it there, oh god no, Aziraphale's reaching for it, he has to stop, they're going to die. "STOP, stop, stop, stop-" Crowley hisses and yanks the angel's hand back. Aziraphale lets out a wounded sound and frowns at him. "I want to know what's inside, don't you?"

"No, it's obvious isn't it? A picnic basket on a doorstep, hello?" Says Crowley and flails his hands around which Azirahle grabs so he doesn't hurt himself. "I don't think i'm following." 

Crowley growls, his angel is so damn smart but still manages to be as dense as a brick wall. He lifts the basket by the handle and keeping it withing arms lenght he sets it on the porch table. "There might be a baby."

"A baby? Put into a picnic basket? Doesn't sound right." 

"Well, it's a thing. That's how i delivered the an-- Adam." Crowley says, like it's tea time chatter. 

"Ah, of course." Answers Aziraphale the same way. "I think it's just more of a reason for us to look inside." Crowley pulls a face at that and leans against the table. 

"Well it could be something entirely different. Like, uh, food or drinks?" 

"Poisoned."

"Books?" 

"Cursed."

"...Kittens? A puppy?" 

"We can only hope so."

Aziraphale wrings his hands together. "Please, let me." He begs. 

"Ugh, fine, just don't make a big deal out of it."

Aziraphale smiles and grabs the cover now that he has permission. "I thought that was your job." He opens it just a little bit at first, to peer inside, then fully after realizing what they're dealing with.

"Well---I don't know if you'd call those babies." 

Crowley made a choked off noise and went all red but Aziraphale was too busy studying the basket contents to notice. "They're really oval, aren't they?" He picked one up and presented it. "Crowley?" The demon was still red and seemingly had stopped breathing.

"I'm going to find whoever thought this is funny and i will--i'll-" Crowley stammered and whipped his head around to try and catch a soul on his land.

"Crowley, what-" 

"Snake eggs, Aziraphale, those are snake eggs for fucks-" 

The angel bursts into delighted laughter. "O-oh dear, that's-" He sets the egg down as not to break it and wipes his eye. "Why are you all embarrassed about it? It's not like you laid them."

"I'm not embarrassed. Someone's taking the piss and I'm not going to care for them." Crowley scowls and crosses his arms. "Whatever you say, honey."

***

Aziraphale was right not to believe that Crowley wouldn't care.

Sure enough eight weeks later all six eggs hatched and the demon was there for all of it. His first comment had been "ugly" ("it was a joke" He declared after Aziraphale had smacked him over the head.) Some of them had a resemblance to Crowley's snake form but the demon would refuse to see it. For the time being at least.

Aziraphale called them their children without shame (like he did with all of their animals) and it was starting to catch onto his partner.

Like that time Elijah went missing and the angel had cried because everybody knows about the gardener who hates birds. Everybody knows he kills them and then blames it on cats. So a big raven like Elijah would have been a big stick in that man's ass. Crowley had marched up to him and yelled "WHERE'S MY SON!?" In such demonic manner all the gardener's work withered and died.

Elijah is fine and healthy now, sitting on his tree and so is Aziraphale, sitting in a lawn chair. He lets the last baby snake slither out of palm to join its simblings and Crowley, who was taking them on a trip through their impressive garden.

He looks on as they disappear into the vegetation and returns to his novel.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever brought that basket we may never know.


End file.
